Zoning out as an escape
Published by Maz in Anxiety and excessive thinking · 31 July 2024
Hi, welcome to my blog on zoning
out. We all need to just zone out as a time out of our busy lives, but
what if we are using zoning out as a way of escaping.
First, what do I mean by 'zoning out'.
The dictionary definition is 'to
stop paying attention and not hear or see what is around you for a short period
of time.'
I'm using the words zoning out
slightly differently, as it's
the way it's often referred to in general language. 'It's that way of not
being present, escaping somewhere to get away from yourself and others'
Having balance in our lives.
I like to think of my day as made
into 3 different ways of existing.
1) Where I am engaged in those many different activities, which include work, relationships, routine jobs etc.
2) Time to zone out and switch off
from everybody.
The third I have found is easily
missed but one which I have increasingly realised is so important; it helps me not just to exist
but to thrive.
3) Time to be in the moment and to
find connection with myself and nature.
Our awareness of zoning out.
Zoning can start from a need to
just escape from life, but then gets so habitual that we do it unconsciously.
The habit-forming way becomes part
of our lives, and can eat into increasing amounts of time and energy.
Zoning out as a way of escaping can soon become addictive.
Many of us have addictive
tendencies, unconsciously trying to fill a void or escape our thoughts or
feelings.
What we initially use as a way of escaping or having
time out can soon become addictive, and we find it hard to let it go.
Gabar Mate is a leading expert on addiction and has worked
with addiction as a doctor, therapist, researcher, speaker and writer.
He has three criteria of what addiction is; it's worth considering these in relation to your way of zoning
out.
1) You crave the addictive
substance or behaviour,
2) You engage in the addictive
substance or behaviour in order to experience pleasure or temporary relief from
some kind of pain.
3) You are unable to give up using
the substance or behaviour.
Consider these ways of relaxing which can become addictive
and could fit Gabar Mate’s definition of addiction:
Looking at your phone, scrolling
through social media.
Shopping including on-line
shopping.
Playing computer or phone games.
Being a workaholic; a seemingly
acceptable way of escaping yourself and your life.
Watching endless television
Eating - mindlessly eating as
self-comforting.
Gambling, Bingo online or in a venue.
Any hobbies which take over and
become more important than a relationship with yourself or those around you.
So what are we trying to escape from?
Our thoughts
Our feelings
Our anxiety
Our fears
Our memories
Our guilt
Our shame
OUR PAIN
When any of these become
overwhelming or difficult we may want to avoid them.
We try pushing them down or ignoring them but they keep coming back.
Many of us have addictive tendencies.
If our emotional needs were not met
growing up the pain and emptiness can remain.
We can try and fill this gap with
our chosen way of zoning out, an attempt to numb the pain.
The way we choose to control our thoughts and feelings can so easily end up
controlling us.
The hardest part is seeing that
what we use as a way of 'zoning' out from our daily life has become addictive.
What does your chosen way of escaping give you
Consider your chosen way of zoning
out, is it addictive?
What do you get from doing this
chosen method?
Consider this quote from Gabor
Mata
If you find yourself hooked on something which you use to
escape it's worth reaching out to support groups or therapists who can help you
through this journey and identify a way forward.
Go to our 'finding support page' for information which
might help.
Once you are aware of how much you zone out you can consciously decide to find ways to connect with yourself.
Even spending 5 or 10 minutes a day can make a big
difference.
*Try to enjoy living in the moment
and become aware of your senses; what you can smell, touch, hear, taste and
see.
*Take in this sensory information
and allow it to connect with you.
*Challenge your negative thoughts
and let them go, you don't have to believe them
*Connect with nature in whatever
way you can.
*Find creative outlets which suit
you. It’s about the process, not the end product.
*Take time to stop and consider how
you are feeling.
*Use dance, movement to express how
you’re feeling.
*Take time to play, if you would
like some ideas go to my blog "Getting in touch with your playful
side" from the 1st May.
*Use your imagination to take you
places which are soothing, and bring you back to special memories.
*Give yourself time to pamper or
look after yourself. Relaxing bath, candles. relaxing music.
*Explore mindfulness, meditation
and yoga; take time to find
what suits you.
I hope you find this information useful. I welcome your comments. Maz
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